As much as I consider myself a hopeless romantic, I am also terribly practical. Given that, I have a hard time understanding the idea of ‘love at first sight’ or relationships that develop instantaneously.
In case I haven’t mentioned it before, Future Husband and I talked for months before becoming a couple, were together two and a half years before getting engaged, and will have been together for over five and a half years when we get married.
(Our story is a bit more similar to this, but more on that on another day.)
I think what I find difficult about these quick relationships is that people change. The relationship I was in at two years was very different at six months and four years. By being with someone longer, you take the time to understand and realize what you love about your partner and how much you love them; obviously if someone becomes abusive or an addict you would leave the relationship, but what if their personality changed? He or she became less out-going? Changed political views? Religious views? Especially being in my early twenties, people change so much every time I see them, and you may not recognize someone after just a few years.
While nearly every Disney film has a couple meeting and falling in love within the first half hour (of knowing each other and the film itself)*, my heart does go out to a few films that show relationships that aren’t formed in less than a week; rather than being built on immediate romance, these relationships tend to be built on solid friendships.
Gone With the Wind (1939)
(from book) “Sometimes she thought that all the people she had ever known were strangers except Rhett.”
Rhett Butler: With enough courage, you can do without a reputation.
Rhett Butler: …Never mind about loving me, you’re a woman sending a soldier to his death with a beautiful memory. Scarlett! Kiss me! Kiss me… once…
Rhett Butler: No, I don’t think I will kiss you, although you need kissing, badly. That’s what’s wrong with you. You should be kissed and often, and by someone who knows how.
Rhett Butler: Did you ever think of marrying just for fun?
Scarlett: Marriage, fun? Fiddle-dee-dee. Fun for men you mean.
Rhett Butler: I can’t go all my life waiting to catch you between husbands.
When Harry Met Sally (1989)
Harry Burns: There are two kinds of women: high maintenance and low maintenance.
Sally Albright: Which one am I?
Harry Burns: You’re the worst kind; you’re high maintenance but you think you’re low maintenance.
Sally Albright: I don’t see that.
Harry Burns: You don’t see that? Waiter, I’ll begin with a house salad, but I don’t want the regular dressing. I’ll have the balsamic vinegar and oil, but on the side. And then the salmon with the mustard sauce, but I want the mustard sauce on the side. “On the side” is a very big thing for you.
Sally Albright: Well, I just want it the way I want it.
Harry Burns: I know; high maintenance.
Harry Burns: The fact that you’re not answering leads me to believe you’re either (a) not at home, (b) home but don’t want to talk to me, or (c) home, desperately want to talk to me, but trapped under something heavy. If it’s either (a) or (c), please call me back.
Harry Burns: …And I love that you are the last person I want to talk to before I go to sleep at night. And it’s not because I’m lonely, and it’s not because it’s New Year’s Eve. I came here tonight because when you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible.
Someone Like You (2001)
Jane: Man, She really did a number on you didn’t she? Well, don’t shit on my broken heart just because you converted to some warped brand of romantic atheism!
Jane: What are you thinking?
Eddie: I’m thinking the same thing you are, Jane. You and Ray are gonna’ live happily ever after with matching volvos and chocolate labs. See you monday.
Jane: Did you have *any* friends growing up?
*I do love me some Little Mermaid, and Sleeping Beauty, but I have yet to see it play out in real life.